the singapore dream | my dream (2)

[from the singapore dream | my dream (1)] Now after all that hammering how “how important money is” surely you will think likewise even if you don’t in the beginning, don’t you? From that moment on, we have become the products of society. I would like to think that I have a mind, a certain mind that is individualistic and that I can think on my moment.

But no…

Along the passages of time when I was growing up like how a good child should, someone invariably knocked me on the head. Perhaps it was my Dad who was clumsy enough or a relative who tried to hold me but failed. And I blame this accident on my so-called character.

Sure, I still had a normal childhood. “Mean is keen” as all kids know. I make fun of the girls I like. And such antics include poking holes into the caps of mineral water bottles and squirting water at them. We even had fads too! There was once where shooting rubber bands at one another (girls included) was considered “in” and another where we degraded into throwing staples at one another (girls included too). I still remember I was especially mean to the girl that I liked in primary school.

Up to this point in time, I still can remember the incident where I made the girl cried. On hindsight it wasn’t very gentlemanly of me but at that point in time was I a gentleman? Nope. I was just a kid. A very geeky kid. The rest of my childhood memories are quite hazy though. I can only remember a few things here and there but let’s move on.

And then I moved on to high school, a new chapter in my life. Or so it seems. It was equally lonely in the beginning for I was the only one in my class with results good enough to make it into that school. In other words, I was the top student in my class. Not that I was particularly brilliant or anything. In fact I’m inclined to think that I am just a student with below-average intelligence. My class was actually the worst class in my whole level.

Anyway moving on, I had no friends in school at first. I couldn’t fit into any group. I wasn’t geek enough, nor was I rebellious enough. I could play about everything, from soccer to basketball.
Alright you got it. I could just play soccer and basketball. But I don’t particularly enjoy it. Was I then playing for the sake of having something in common with other people? Why? If it is so then I am dependent on other people.

To them I just had a bit of everything but not enough to properly warrant a full membership into their gang. And so I drift. From group to group. From geeks to punks to sports-people to people of the same co-curricular group (that’s like something you join out of the school curriculum non-local folks).

An honorary member. With no roots. With no best friends.

Was there one? I don’t ever recall so. Everyone had one? I guess so. I don’t know what happened to mine though.


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3 thoughts on “the singapore dream | my dream (2)

  1. Pingback: the singapore dream | my dream (3) « Whispers of Another Moon

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