Pain, the Guiding Light

All his instincts told him to turn away.

“Go go go! Turn your head away and move on!” his brains screamed at him.

“No point in waiting, just move on with your life,” the others re-emphasized the point. It seems right that he should move on, after all, it didn’t seem fair. It wasn’t fair that he did so many things and got nothing in return. It wasn’t fair that he got treated this way. After all, he did gave his heart and soul.

Perhaps, therein lied the problem, he chuckled. He lost himself when he gave his heart and soul to her, and now, he couldn’t really live. Not without her anyway.

In the midst of the mental commotion, something suddenly surfaced upon the deep black sea…

“For the matters of the heart, just follow your heart, why follow the head?”

“Makes some sense,” he thought rather grimly. But if he were to follow his heart, he had no doubt that route would bring him more pain and perhaps, he would be burnt rather badly in the process. The other route was to give up and move on, like what his friend said. It would be easier for him as well. And perhaps, given some time, he would have recovered and move on.

But, that was the coward’s way out. He was not a coward. He truly loved her. And giving her up to the vultures would perhaps be the greatest regret he would ever harbour.

“Ee ni me ni my ni more.”

**********

“Alright, pain shall be my saviour and my guiding light. I shall take that painful route, where it is long and sharp.”

“You really ee ni me ni my ni more ah?” his friend said incredulousy.

“Of course not! What do you take me for? I was just pulling your leg for God’s sake!” he retorted with a smile.

“Why make life difficult for yourself?”

“Because I love her…that’s about it I guess.”

“Because the heart has reasons that reason cannot comprehend.”

“Because I would want to follow her to the edge of time.”

“If she falls, I want to be the one to carry her up.”

“If she needs a shoulder, I want to be that shoulder.”

“If she’s tired, I would carry her and do the walking for her.”

“And if she doesn’t need me, I would just silently trod behind her.”

“I would be her guardian angel.”

His friend just stood there, speechless at how dumb and idiotic his friend could be…


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