In the course of your years of mortality, I believe, at some point in time, people do come across the proverbial crossroads in their lives. Be it a little girl, who’s standing at a shop, deciding what type of sweets she should get with her last fifty cents, the humdinger or the mints, or the 18-year old hormonally charged punk deciding which girl he likes best, or the 21yr old female graduate deciding whether to work after university or to continue the pursuit of academic qualifications. I could ramble on and on with more instances and examples, but you get my idea.
And now, woe be me, I find myself standing upon this crossroads as well. Each road leading to a different direction entirely and no clue is yielded by them in where I am heading. To salvation? Or damnation? To utter conformity? Or to its opposite? I do not know. And the question plagues me so. Which path should I take? Whenceforth should I go from here? And if I step into the Northen Lights, would I be able to retrieve myself, both spiritually and physically? It is a bonechilling thought.
This is just the first of the trinity of crossroads facing me. One is slightly less significant on a materialistic aspect I presume. May materialism burn in hell, for it has me within its grasps. I detest the notion of being controlled within its hateful vices. The last crossroads perhaps may be on par with the first dilemma I’m facing. Left or right, I will be burnt on the stakes. It reminds me of Rhys’ s “Drab Puritan Grey.” For this, I see no salvation. No recompense at all. No quarter given to me. I must fight teeth and claw for this.
I see myself drowning again, with Sorrow as my constant companion, faithful and stedfast. As will be biblically.
Enlighten me Old Ones. I need your help and guidance. Wherefore art thou in the wandering constellations? Show thineself to your devotee.
For now, I can only steer the course of my oarless boat with my bare hands, and hope that this course I set upon doesn’t lead me over the Niagara Falls.
(As was, now and will be)